What's on The Telly Tonight?
"Bones" - Season Premiere
8:00 p.m. ET - FOX
I really hate this show. Hate it! It's not David Borneaz (I luv him) or the chick that plays Brennen - it's the dialog. I don't believe *any* of it. Nor do I believe that the museum she works for would allow her to stuff her office full of priceless artifacts that frankly should be on display somewhere else. Obviously the set designer has never stepped foot in any sort of professional working space - life does not mirror "CSI" folks - no business would invest so much cash in making their behind-the-scenes office look so fancy. But you know, this isn't a design-in-reality blog, it's a gay TV blog so let's get to it. Yes, there's gay in "Bones"- of sorts. Eric Mulligan (gay) continues to play Zack Addy, the child-like genius who likely isn't gay on the show. (To the best of my knowledge, they haven't gone there nor do they plan to go there.) But hey - I know lots of lesbians and gays dig this show - good for you. Me? I'd rather spend the time flossing.
"CBS News on LOGO: Out to Win "
8:00 p.m. ET - LOGO
CBS rolls out the cute and twinkie newsies to get the skinny on LGBT athletes and sporting events. (Water sports, perhaps?) Highlights include the Gay Games in Chicago and the OutGames in Montreal, profiles of sports legends (hello Billie Jean King!) and just why sports are important to gays. (Um...I think it has something to do with muscle tone and sweaty hot guys and girls jiggling about but I might just be mistaken on this one.)
"Gender Rebel"
8:30 p.m. ET - LOGO
This original documentary explores the role gender identity plays in contemporary society and how individuals who refuse to fit either mold are shattering traditional concepts and blurring the line of gender division. Frankly I find this trans stuff fascinating - bring on the diversity, I'm lovin' your courage!
"The Hill"
9:00 p.m. ET - Sundance
Got Bush? Oh yes, you do. Too much in fact! With the evil W back in office and pushing Social Security reform, Wexler and his staff attempt to offer an alternative plan, much to the angst of their own party. (Party poopers!) Eric Johnson, the openly gay chief of staff, is tasked with brainstorming a legislative response to the White House involvement in the CIA leak case. (Boy, was that turn-out disappointing.)
"Scrubs"
9:30 p.m. ET - NBC
This is a repeat of the episode when Elliot and Carla find out that Todd (Robert Maschio) has been lying about his many sexual conquests with women, which leads them to bel
ieve his fruit may be falling in the gay orchard of life. (ooooooo...so metaphorical!)
"Half & Half"
9:30 p.m. ET - UPN
What a bunch of turds! In this repeat, Mona and Spencer screw with Adam ( played by gay comic Alec Mapa) by convincing him that he won over $1 million in the lottery. Bastards!
"Project Runway" - And then there was one...Kayne, the lone remaining gay.
10:00 p.m. ET - Bravo
Thank god Tim Gunn hated Vincent's dress last week too - otherwise the show would have totally lost credibility in my mind. (For Tim's dish on Vincent, go to his blog here. He *loathes* him!) Let's face it - we're now watching the Michael and Uli show. They're the only two design stand-outs left at this point. Kayne, Laura and Jeffrey will likely be competing for the final spot as I assume either Vincent or Angela will go home tonight. (Please.) No doubt dear Ms. Seal will be wearing yet another atrocious outfit on the runway as she always does...who the f*ck dresses her in the morning? Eric Brun-Sanglard from "Designing Blind?" Really - she's a mess! And yes Heidi, I don't like you and I know you don't care. I don't care about you either - see, we're even!
"30 Days" - Season Finale
10:00 p.m. ET - FX
They *always* save the best for last, so hopefully tonight's journey into the depths of a U.S. prison will prove fascinating. Don't expect Morgan Spurlock to put someone else in the Big House, even though that's supposed to be the whole point of the show - he'll be the one incarcerated tonight. Though he says that's 'cause he wouldn't want to put an innocent at risk, I'm sure it's just because he couldn't find anyone willing to do it. He should have asked me! The Telly Nelly just loves televised prison dramas! I'm sure there will be a few gay cracks...pun intended!
"Noah's Arc"
10:00 p.m. ET - LOGO
When a British music star tumbles into Noah's life, a regular day turns into a wild time, leading to both a reconnection and a revelation. Oh, the troubles celebs cause to us mere mortals...they're like the gods of ancient times. (But with less swan raping I'm sure.)
"Celebrity Fit Club 4"
10:00 p.m. ET - VH1
I'm still trying to determine just what this has to do with music, but hey - whatever. ANT, the openly gay comic from New Hampshire hosts. There are lots of fat celebrities, but no one I really care about. Lackluster season ahoy!
"Drawn Together"
10:30 p.m. ET - Comedy Central
Xandir needs some help from his roommates - he just can't come out to his parents under his own gay steam. So of course he needs a little practice, care of some "Drawn Together"-style role-playing. Yeah, you can guess what happens. (Captain Hero is a *total* bottom.)